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She takes the same route to work every day and which passes the coffeeshop at the street corner. The well-dressed smart looking men would sip their coffees, but never has she spoken to any of them.

On the bus, the loud chatter of others does not bother her, as she looks wistfully out the window. At work, she does not interact with her colleagues much. She lunches at the nearby canteen with her good friend and usually orders from her favourite stall. Today Jo smiles at the stall owner, who some days ago had said she was pretty.

What got me interested in Jo most was that she was single. Jo works as a media designer in the media industry and is in her early 30s.  Dressed in jeans and a casual top, she is just like any other woman. On the street, or in the club, she would have attracted more than just an interested stare. At least I did when I first met her 5 years ago.

I still remember the first time we met. We had arranged to meet at Wisma Atria in Orchard as she had promised to help me with my dissertation. I had turned up late, and could not identify her among the crowd. I tried calling her. The line rang, but after a while, it was cut. I wondered how I was going to identify her when I received an sms from her saying she was seated at the foodcourt. I headed there and tried calling her mobile again. Again it was cut. Then I noticed a lady among the crowd waving at me. I wondered why she hung up on me.

It was only later that I realized Jo was hearing-impaired – and has been so since young.

I had chosen to write my first story about people with disabilities for publichouse.sg about Jo for a reason. Being hearing-impaired has long been the silent disability. Like me, if you had not known Jo previously, you would not have guessed that she was deaf.

The deaf face problems in life doing things which we take for granted. Jo has a degree from Curtin University, Australia. She recalls sending out resumes for jobs, upon her return to Singapore, without stating her disability in her applications. More often than not, her prospective employers would slam the door in her face on learning she was deaf during the interviews. Yet, the deaf community has found ways to adapt around issues they face in everyday life.  Jo points out food items she wants to order and gestures to tell others her feelings. She writes down important things that she needs to communicate and watches her favourite subtitled television drama.

The biggest issue that Jo faces has been in forming lasting relationships. Yearly without fail during the festive season of Chinese New Year, her relatives would ask the dreaded question - whether she had a boyfriend and when she would be getting married. In fact, Jorena – her actual name - has had no problems with first impressions. She has had members of the other gender approach her, wanting to know her, but many beat a hasty retreat when they learn she is deaf. The few who have broken that barrier have had problems with communications. Jo shares that there was a guy who liked her and there was a certain level of chemistry between them. However, he did not want to learn signing, and the relationship died off from there. Jo still hopes that one day she will be able to meet her prince charming, who will not be put off by her impairment. Whether he himself is deaf does not matter to her. As she puts it, her impairment has prevented her from leading a normal life.

This I believe is the crux of the matter with regards to disability. Let us try to empathize with people with disabilities. Most if not all people with disabilities want to lead normal lives. In more ways than we know, what are taken for granted by us may be obstacles to them to be part of our society - the lack of English subtitles on television, the lack of lifts, the lack of societal understanding, for example. With a little bit more understanding and more insight into the ways they see things and the issues they face, society can grow to be more accommodative of this group of people among us.

By Zhuang Kuansong

The writer has been interested in disability since his undergraduate days and aspires to do a Phd in disability studies. He is writing stories to tell the everyday lives of people with disabilities.